作为一个妈妈是伟大的,但几乎所有的感觉time for our men isn’t always easy. I have a wonderful friend, named Beth, who is pregnant with her third baby. She is due any day now and sent me a comical story that actually happened to her just a few days ago. I thought it was a humorous look at some of the things we do to make ourselves feel pretty. I asked her to be a guest writer for this week and share her story with us.
I’ve known Beth for over 10 years now. We lived together for two years in the late 90′s before my husband and I got married. Beth is an amazing woman. She is honest, loving, authentic, and the kind of person who makes you feel safe to open up to. Her children are fortunate to have such a great woman as a mother.
Here is a little about Beth:
My name is Beth Hernandez. I live in San Antonio, TX with my husband and three children, ages 5 (son), 2 (daughter), and soon to be born son! In general, I am what many would consider an extreme extravert, though God seems to be balancing that more lately. Though my husband and I feel most at home when our house is filled with people and our schedule is busy, we have learned to set a few emotional boundaries to keep our health and relationships stable! By trade I am a secondary Math, Science, and English teacher. Currently I am a homemaker who tries to keep her toe in the broader Education field through tutoring and short term, very part time contracted teaching positions (like a summer program called Jumpstart through the University of Texas system or some private school affairs). I home school my oldest kids, which is great fun! I love to read and share what I’ve read with others. I enjoy writing, and I am learning to share that with others. My husband and I are an active part of our church community.
Confessions about being 9 months pregnant and waxing…
Some ideas are better left un-tried when one is 9 months pregnant. Case in point: waxing one’s belly. Background on this adventure may or may not be necessary, but just in case, when I was in my early and mid twenties, I thought it extremely important to have as little body hair as possible. The reason for this is that one never knew when one would meet the man of her dreams, and potentially run away to get married very spontaneously, or if one would find herself in the hospital stripped to her undies for some terrible surgery situation wishing all that hair wasn’t so thick and exposed. (By the way this is the same logic for wearing matching bra and underwear sets!) An added bonus for hair removal was that I was always prepared for spontaneous swimming situations (though I can’t recall if those ever really happened spontaneously).所以我在必要时从事痛苦的唤醒某些“比基尼”区域。我相信我对这个壮举进行了一个正式的过程,但目前露出我。
关于结婚的真相 - 即使一个人逃跑到泰浩湖,也是如此 - 最终是一个沉思的常规,亲爱的丈夫。在生孩子后尤其如此。现在请不要解释这不是我的丈夫最好的;我继续努力尽可能美丽。尽管如此,随着预算越来越紧,打蜡就像打蜡的东西让剃须刀为成本宗旨,并且有些日子使得额外的努力去除所有头发并不像花时间处理我年轻人的情感和精神需求那么重要孩子们,并积极地爱着我的丈夫,许多好方法。在我自己的丈夫的特定情况下,我也开始意识到,我的头发删除过程更加针对我的安全和自我形象而不是他的乐趣。
暴露了所有的,我今天来了。今天,我的第三个孩子怀孕39周,半月了。我的肚子比我谨慎地延伸得更远。我一直在讨论我腹部下部的头发,因为它在我的产妇上露出时,她上周跑到了我的2岁和半年的女儿。当她的脸颊摩擦对阵肚子时,她说这是“pokey”。I’m not sure that this “pokey” hair is terribly noticeable to the average adult, but small children “tell it like it is,” and I felt that shaving was just too dangerous a venture at this point (due to limited visibility and coordination—which may have been a good reason to forgo the waxing, as well). So when I went to Target today, to buy a few household items, I stopped in the beauty section to find some wax. I decided I owed this “indulgent luxury” to myself. It had been about 5 years since I subjected myself to the torture, and had clearly forgotten the painful process.
今晚,经过房子的每个人都睡着了,我从包装中取出了蜡和棍棒和方向。我仔细阅读了他们,注意到这并不完全正如我所记忆的那样,但事情发生了5年。我将蜡容器微针30秒,这应该会阻止我。我们的微波炉不喜欢某些物品(如黄油,显然是蜡)。我不得不逃离厨房,因为害怕我的生命,就像在15岁的怪物微波内部爆发的闪电螺母一样。When the timer beeped, I tiptoed back into the kitchen, carefully opened the door, and pulled out my wax. It seemed the right consistency, so I continued with the process.
Back in the bathroom, I set up a mirror on the toilet seat, so I could see the underside of my belly, and began applying the sticky goop in the direction of hair growth. My first mistake was probably spreading the wax on too thickly. My second mistake was leaving the box of fabric strips on the floor. When I leaned over to grab one, my belly stuck to my leg, the wax container fell to the floor, and the spreading stick began to drip all over the toilet seat. As I pulled my leg painfully off my belly, I began to laugh, realizing this is the stuff sitcoms are made of: images of “I love Lucy” and “Anne of Green Gables” dancing in my head. My dear husband sat up in bed at this point to see what on earth was causing me to make such a racket! He rolled his eyes when he saw me and lay back down probably wondering about his choice in women.
Determined, I continued in this venture. I stuck the fabric strips on my belly and pulled. OUCH…OUCH…OUCH! The great unfortunate point here was, again, mistake number one: I spread the wax on thickly. I succeeded in removing no hair but still subjecting my belly to deep pain. (Which by the way should have put me into labor, but I am under the firm suspicion that this baby is too wise to the outside world and has decided he’d rather spend his days warm, well fed, and safe in his current cramped quarters!) I tried again with new strips, only to realize that though I was raw, I still had hair because I had pulled the strips in the wrong direction! Here, wisdom entered my heart and I decided to give up this disastrous adventure.遗憾的是,误认为两次回来咬我。与织物条带一起,“舒缓的油”在盒子里的地板上。我无法告诉你终于从地板上拿下小瓶后有多少个地方。我可能会救了自己的麻烦。石油没有做出一大堆从我身体上移除所有粘性蜡(见错第一)。Between the failed waxing job and scrubbing frantically all over with soap and a scrubby after applying the oil, I am now raw and hairy and unsure of why we subject ourselves to such torture as women…I don’t think I’ll attempt waxing again, unless I can afford a professional and some REALLY GREAT WINE!
Thanks for reading my confession…I felt keeping it to myself would only be self indulgent.
-beth hernandez.
好的妈妈人群,本周欢迎贝丝并分享你发生在你身上的一些故事!